A friend just emailed me this and I thought my readers would enjoy a good dose of tico humor.

Enjoy!

Memorandum
To: Costa Rican Employees
From: Human Resources Department

Subject: New Policy using the Spanish language during working hours.

1. Words like “picha“, “ijueputa” and other such expressions will not be
used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion may get.

2. Non-important matters should not be addresses to as “mierda“.

3. You will not say “la cago” when someone makes a mistake, or “lo
cagaron” if you see someone being reprimanded. All forms and derivates of
the word “cagar” are inappropriate in our environment.

4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as “falta de huevos” or
“playadas“, not will a person with lack of initiative be referred as
“maricon“, “playo” or “come mierda“.

5. No manager or supervisor, under any circumstances, will not referred
to as “ese carepicha” or “ese maricon“.

6. When a good proposal is presented, the term “que pichudo” must not be
used.

7. Unusual or creative brainstorming meetings will not be referred to as
“diarreas mentales“.

8. Do not say “como jode” if a person is persistent, or “se jodio” if
somebody is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not
say “que hijueputa” or “que dolor de picha” when matter become complicated
in your line of work.

9. When asking someone to leave you alone, you should not say “vayase
pa`lamierda“, nor will you substitude “que putas queres?” for “May I help
you?”.

10. When leaving the office, using the term “voy jalando malparidos” is
not proper.

11. When any office equipment fails, it must be reported as “it broke
down”, not “se despicho” or “se jodió esta mierda“.

12. Last but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say “me
voy a limpiar el culo con esto“. Just keep it clean and file properly.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Human Resource Department.
Merlin Industries.